Approach with Caution

Being a functional member of society is, I’m finding, one of my greatest daily challenges. The stress of my everyday life has caused me to be in a somewhat permanent bad mood and like anyone in a bad mood, it seeps from my pores. I don’t exactly love “people” all of the time but my short temper with basic humanity is getting pretty intense. 

Did you know that they let people with mental and physical deficiencies (such as the ability to see) drive cars around the city on Saturday mornings? A little girl, driving what I can only assume was her parents Volkskwagon SUV, backed up into my car at a red light in the left turn lane. Didn’t bother looking behind her before just deciding that if she couldn’t go forward, she’d try reverse out and see if that worked. It was just a bump and there was (thankfully) no damage to my POS car but this was after I had been called into work at 9 am on my morning off and I was still on my first coffee..which is basically “pre” coffee and does NOTHING for the exhaustion that consumes me every second of every day. I’m too tired to get angry enough to lose it on anyone, but my thoughts that morning were rather sadistic. 

On a more positive note, it’s going to be 15 degrees tomorrow and Friday in Chicago and should be a good time trying to get into the back gate to my apartment, which always freezes at that temperature and requires me to jump over it. My other option is to park my car and then walk a block around to the front of the building and use the front door (at night, in the city, through an alley, in the cold). The little metal spikes at the top of the fence only cut you if you come in contact with them, and I’m getting rather good at this hurdle that is usually followed by a seething text to my landlord who has not fixed that issue in the three years that I’ve lived there. The first attempt I made at that jump (and yes, I do look like a burglar doing this) I was dumb enough to do in shorts and left a collection of cute scars on my leg. I did get a tetanus shot last year so no worries, the rusty metal can’t REALLY kill me. One of the perks of having a parking spot behind your house in the city! I highly recommend.

I’ve decided to skip town this weekend and go visit my mother, who will cook things for me and tell me I’m pretty while I try and get caught up on schoolwork, as my sister’s new puppy chews up my things. At this point, my professors have lost all the hope they had in me and my student advisor has stopped calling. There’s no help for this chick. It would be easier to do schoolwork if the subjects were of any interest to me, but something about the study of “operational behavior” bores me half to death. Mind you, I’m a fucking HR major. I should’ve started stripping years ago when I still had the body for it. I could study something I have an interest in. What’s the annual salary for sleeping all day and ordering delivery from a restaurant that’s half a block away? Not entirely sure what we’d call that position, but I’ll soon be too crabby to be out in public and it will really fit my needs. Oh, that’s not a real job? Okay well, I guess I’ll just stick to the Business degree. Thanks. 

I did drop off my laundry for someone else to do this week and I bought random food to snack on so my diet doesn’t just consist of leftovers and half-chewed toddler cookies. I made it to about half of my workout classes and that’s definitely keeping me sane and giving me hope that my summer attire may fit me this year. That, or I’ll surrender to eating an entire Domino’s pizza each night and live in sweats forever. 

I’m sure by now you’re thinking “damn, this chick needs a hug, but I’d be too terrified to approach her”. And you’re absolutely correct. I haven’t been hugged since the guy I was seeing ended things in a text message last week out of nowhere. Maybe it wasn’t out of nowhere, but I was too busy trying to not randomly slaughter people on the street to notice his issues. Clearly, I'm not really beat up about it. Either way, a hug would be just lovely. If not a hug, you can always donate to my “Starbucks” fund or have a pizza delivered to my place. Now I must get back to this intriguing reading about planning a retirement fund while 25 years old with student loan debt adding up by the minute. College. I highly recommend.