Money on My Mind: Retail Therapy Edition

I spoke a bit before on how I used retail therapy to help me get through things last year. I always have been a spender, but I really turned it up a notch after I lost seemingly everything. I’ve heard a lot of people say that material items can’t make you happy. Well, I come home every night and see my shoes and feel pretty great so, get at me. I recently invested in a pair of Nike running shoes and not only am I happy but my feet are ecstatic. I used to exclusively leave the house in sweats and I still do, but now it’s more of track pants or joggers and cute sneakers look to take away from that “dumpster kitty” swag I had before. Do you care what I wear? Certainly not. But I feel like a real adult now and people don’t look at me like I should be begging for money on a street corner. 
I’m not going to try and talk you out of using retail therapy as a way to make yourself happy. Do it. But let me help you out, as someone who KNOWS how to spend money. We buy things that we “need” and will use frequently. Things that improve our lives. For example, my “Smart Plugs” that work with Alexa. It’s plugging a $25 outlet into an outlet that was already there, but now I can tell Alexa to turn on and off whatever is plugged into the said outlet. Lazy? Maybe. Expensive? Somewhat. Fun? Oh, YOU BET. When I get home at night, after saying goodnight to my shoes, Alexa turns on the lights and TV in my room and then I get in the softest bed there ever was (buy yourself fleece sheets, right now) and when I’m ready to fall asleep I tell Alexa to simply shut everything off, and she does. Embrace this technology people. It makes me darn happy and the few who have experienced it know it’s my absolute favorite party trick. The possibilities are endless and I’m sure the wealthy folk that can do this in their entire house will tell you that this is one of the good things about being alive in a time where the President is a Cheeto and your chances of dying from a hurricane or just being cold are significantly higher. 
I mean, think about it. We can all make an inexpensive cup of coffee at home but does it really give you the enjoyment that a $6 PSL can? No. That’s why we do it. I could take a lesser expensive trip to see grandma for the weekend but I can also fly RT to Paris for around $350 and eat my weight in quiche. You can drive the cheap POS that I currently have or drop some extra cash and have butt warmers. Luxuries are worth the money. If you don’t believe me, live in the Midwest during the winter without your seat heater. Could you put that money towards something else? Sure. That’s absolutely your choice. But my retail therapy game has really turned up and someone complimented my new jacket the other day that I got for $20 on Dick’s end of year sale. It's cute and warm and I just don't think you can have too many jackets in today's climate. Shop smart. Don’t pay full price for anything. The only thing better than buying yourself something is buying it for a fraction of the price, and having that money you saved to buy something else. 
If there are any mental health professionals reading this, I’m aware that my shopping addiction is “unhealthy” but when your credit score is 740 before your 24th birthday you can talk to me about how dumb my financial decisions have been. I’m probably the ONLY person you’ll ever meet who financed a baby bunny (Love you, Carl), and was better off for it. For bunny updates, please contact my sister who adopted him several years ago and has properly socialized him with a variety of other animals and given him a nice closet to live in. 
Enjoy your Amazon Prime account without guilt. A no-chip pedicure is worth the extra money and you can finance just about anything (including rodents) with 0 interest so might as well. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

People Born in 2000 Can Drink Now

So it’s a new year, but you knew that. New year, same shit dude. Everyone thought last year was the worst but in all honesty, I made some awesome friends and traveled, loved every minute of “work” and didn’t get my heart broken once. You have to try a LOT harder to beat the dumpster fire that was Elizabeth 2019 after 5-15-19.  The irony? Just yesterday, January of 2021, someone else pulled an “I know you already have a flight to Tampa booked for THIS WEEK but I changed my mind so bye” which didn’t trigger me at all…I’m still going because I’ll be damned to miss out on a vacation that I’ve already packed for. You all know the effort it takes to make sure I travel with everything I could possibly need. I’m gonna kayak and adopt a manatee.  I’ll post another time about why we DO NOT date men under the age of 28 at a minimum. Especially when you know damn well what it is that you want and are more than capable of adulting while managing your time wisely.  Christmas and New ...
Read more

In Loving Memory of My Couch

  I got my first apartment when I was 19 years old. I had none of my own furniture at the time so I got an Ashley Furniture credit card (four years, zero interest) and hit up IKEA for the rest. This was the beginning of me having my own stuff. I’ve been called a hoarder for years and I might be… but I’ve worked damn hard for my money and if I choose to spend it on something, I value that item.  I am too stuck up to sleep on a used mattress or sit on someone’s used couch. I mean, seriously. Gross. I know what happens on my couch and mattress so I can only imagine what happens on someone else’s (...grow up). Those were both somewhat pricey investments. I can tell you that the $600 couch I got (that was black velvet material and oh so squishy) moved into that apartment, and then moved four additional times over seven years. It didn’t really look like it belonged in any of my apartments after the first, but I still loved and cared for it.  WHY am I talking to you about a couc...
Read more

Granola Donations Welcome

  It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything that I may have forgotten how. Nothing new here. Just remodeled my bedroom so I could have a desk because someone decided to eat bat poop so now I can’t sit and study at Starbucks. Also built me a dresser and hung things on the walls like pictures and artwork so it’s like I’m a real adult now (all furniture was purchased from Wayfair and nothing that arrived resembled a child so there you have it).  The traveling has been pretty heavy for the past month and I’m just thrilled to be home. I think I could go another forever without being on a Spirit Airlines flight that costs less than $20 and features screaming one-year-olds on their mother’s lap in the seat directly next to mine. If I haven’t mentioned this before, after a year the child is in fact large enough to go into overhead storage. My Airpods couldn’t even block out that fucking nonsense.  I’m also working on this being organized thing which is much easier wh...
Read more