Where Were You During COVID-19?

Current favorite meme: “What a fucking year this week has been”


I was only six, but I remember where I was during 9/11. I had pink eye and was sent home from school and I got real sassy when my mom wouldn’t let me turn cartoons on the tv when we got home (which was a given on a sick day). She insisted on watching midday news for the first time in her life.
Do you realize that kids graduating high school now weren’t even alive on 9/11/01? But they’re alive for this. Easily the weirdest time for any of us in this lifetime. I was with my 9-month-old the other day like “omg you are alive during COVID-19 and you won’t even remember it...Woah”.


We can overthink this or choose not to think about it at all, but in my eyes, this changes a lot of things for a long time. Joke all you want about a baby boom in nine months but that will be the generation that was conceived during a crisis only to perish from the effects of global warming. Call them Gen- set up for failure?

That was dark. Sorry.


I’m a member of the “no longer” employed group of people who had a perfectly steady income seven days ago. Actually, I had three. It’s sort of nice being a part of a very large group of people who collectively cannot pay their bills. It’s like, this has happened before, but now it isn’t just me. It’s literally every person. We going broke together fam. We have each other to lean on.


I am absolutely on board for flattening the curve. If I were a medical professional today, I would be terrified of the sheer numbers that could come at them with this thing. This is the stuff of movies, and yes I’ve already re-watched Contagion and Outbreak.


I’m actually enjoying having little to do each day. Prior to isolation and unemployment, I wasn’t able to find time to read any of my books or spend half an hour picking out a movie before giving up and going to bed. I’ve done all of those things and more in the few days I've been home. We know I’ll never say no to a good nap, but I’m doing two-a-days here for well over an hour each with real dedication. And I have time to make breakfast each morning since I don’t have to leave, so it’s been a buffet-style every day instead of some small child’s half-eaten banana.  I would, of course, give all of this up in a heartbeat for an income and the AIR or Soulcycle studio, but let us just take this time to relax a bit and day drink while we watch the Trump administration handle the greatest global pandemic since...what? Yellow fever? 


I can tell you right now, getting back to life after this is going to be rough. Your dog is used to you being home all day now, and suddenly you leave again? I’d pee all over your house too. It’s like going back to work after a vacation where you’ve been drinking all the time and eating whatever you can get your hands on. Except this might be a month-long vacation. Maybe longer. I’m glad that as a society we’ve come together and removed “summer bodies” from our potential. I feel so much less guilty about eating snacks all day. I did make the wise (and unintentional) decision to live with a personal trainer who is going to school to become a phys ed teacher, so we’ve gone out and done activities a couple of days this week. Will I leave isolation better than I came? Doubt it. We have a lot of food here. Like, a ton. Running low is going to take us a long while. That and did I mention day drinking? Not typically my style but I have a case of Corona here JUST IN CASE at the end of the pandemic that turns out to be the ironic vaccine or cure to this whole thing. Also, why the hell not? I can afford to be hungover tomorrow since I am doing absolutely nothing...again. 


I am actually doing face masks and taking baths. We are onto our second game of Catan this week. I'm about to finish a book and I am caught up on homework for the most part. The new apartment is really put together. Yesterday, I played with our new 2-in-1 vacuum mop and genuinely enjoyed myself. This doesn’t feel real. I begged and begged for more time and then the universe saw an opportunity. Am I to blame for this? If so, I’ll be sure to name my first child COVID as a tribute to all of those who have and may still lose their lives to this virus. 


My overly dry hands can’t write much more and it’s time for another snack. May the odds be ever in your favor and remember to stop touching your goddamn face, Karen.

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