You Learn Something New Every Day
I know you think this is going to be another LOTR review and I’m so sorry to disappoint. Maybe I’ll throw a few opinions in if I run out of other useless nonsense to talk about.
Yesterday was nice and I got outside for the first time after not seeing sunlight in nearly a week. My mom told me to not say this, but I very much compare it to the first time Anne Frank walked outside. I have never had such an experience with my eyes adjusting to light after an extended period of darkness. Again, I am only using these comparisons when they apply and I in no way consider this the equivalent of the holocaust. I just feel like Anne and I would get each other.
Today, I considered taking a screenshot every time someone sends me that crying laughing emoji. It’s like proof that I’m funny. Might be a good way to save all the jokes that hit. Also, I’m usually not joking so that’s sorta annoying. Does that mean I’m naturally funny or people don’t take me seriously? Don’t answer that.
It’s officially official that May is now canceled as well (on Friday, It’s Gonna Be MAY) (if you didn’t get that please use the interweb to upgrade your life). I expected this so it wasn’t much of a surprise, but a disappointment because Girl Talk was playing at the Metro (Venue close to my place) on May 3rd. One of my absolute favorites who doesn’t actually tour anymore so this was likely my only opportunity to see him. Oh well, there are people literally canceling their weddings so I hardly have a pedestal to stand on here.
I, of course, spent a portion of my stimulus check on something for myself. Got me the AirPod Pros. It turned out this was a practical purchase because the walls in this joint might as well not exist and the noise-canceling feature on them is astoundingly effective. They are basically the same thing as other AirPods but they have that feature, and the “sticks” are shorter. You can, in fact, still control music and phone calls by touching them. Apparently, people who have been using these for a while didn’t actually know that. Guess ya learn something new every day. You’re welcome.
Not sure how this is relevant but I thought I’d give y’all a little “how-to” on life. I know there isn’t a book published on this topic yet but I’m working on it. Not sure if I’m entirely qualified to be the author of that one.
To start, never ever EVER live somewhere without a dishwasher. That’s to save your sanity. It’s 2020 people. I literally met someone with no dishwasher or garbage disposal, living inside of a HOUSE. I’m sure you figured out that they live in Pilsen, based on that information, so also don’t live in Pilsen. Unless you’re a big fan of stray bullets and graffiti. SECOND OF ALL, have a bath in your home. Small will work if you can’t pull a full jacuzzi. It’s so relaxing that it actually lowers your risk of heart disease. That was probably fake news I read, but I’ve become a regular in my bathtub with drinks and music or a book and I ain’t got no stress left. Third of all, (my mom is pulling her hair out by now), you need outdoor space. For my city people, it’s difficult but not impossible. You never know when you may not be able to go anywhere and it’s nice outside and then you die from a lack of Vitamin D. IF you have outdoor space, get a fucking hammock. Tell me the last time you were in a hammock and not content as fuck? I mean, even if you have to be working or some shit just do it in your hammock and it will be like a vacation but it’s work. If you get one and let me use it, I’ll friggen hang it up for you. I assembled the chair swing on our deck by my damn self and I’ve never met a tree I didn’t want to climb. And if you opt to buy yours at a Menard’s, get other cool shit too because that place rocks.
It’s officially official that May is now canceled as well (on Friday, It’s Gonna Be MAY) (if you didn’t get that please use the interweb to upgrade your life). I expected this so it wasn’t much of a surprise, but a disappointment because Girl Talk was playing at the Metro (Venue close to my place) on May 3rd. One of my absolute favorites who doesn’t actually tour anymore so this was likely my only opportunity to see him. Oh well, there are people literally canceling their weddings so I hardly have a pedestal to stand on here.
I, of course, spent a portion of my stimulus check on something for myself. Got me the AirPod Pros. It turned out this was a practical purchase because the walls in this joint might as well not exist and the noise-canceling feature on them is astoundingly effective. They are basically the same thing as other AirPods but they have that feature, and the “sticks” are shorter. You can, in fact, still control music and phone calls by touching them. Apparently, people who have been using these for a while didn’t actually know that. Guess ya learn something new every day. You’re welcome.
Not sure how this is relevant but I thought I’d give y’all a little “how-to” on life. I know there isn’t a book published on this topic yet but I’m working on it. Not sure if I’m entirely qualified to be the author of that one.
To start, never ever EVER live somewhere without a dishwasher. That’s to save your sanity. It’s 2020 people. I literally met someone with no dishwasher or garbage disposal, living inside of a HOUSE. I’m sure you figured out that they live in Pilsen, based on that information, so also don’t live in Pilsen. Unless you’re a big fan of stray bullets and graffiti. SECOND OF ALL, have a bath in your home. Small will work if you can’t pull a full jacuzzi. It’s so relaxing that it actually lowers your risk of heart disease. That was probably fake news I read, but I’ve become a regular in my bathtub with drinks and music or a book and I ain’t got no stress left. Third of all, (my mom is pulling her hair out by now), you need outdoor space. For my city people, it’s difficult but not impossible. You never know when you may not be able to go anywhere and it’s nice outside and then you die from a lack of Vitamin D. IF you have outdoor space, get a fucking hammock. Tell me the last time you were in a hammock and not content as fuck? I mean, even if you have to be working or some shit just do it in your hammock and it will be like a vacation but it’s work. If you get one and let me use it, I’ll friggen hang it up for you. I assembled the chair swing on our deck by my damn self and I’ve never met a tree I didn’t want to climb. And if you opt to buy yours at a Menard’s, get other cool shit too because that place rocks.
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