Your Mom Thought It Was Funny

I honestly think as humans the most important thing we can do is put ourselves in other people's shoes. It’s likely you’ve had enough life experience where you can imagine how you would personally feel in their position. It’s all about perspective.
When someone upsets me and I’m telling them what they did, I’m not saying, “hey fuck you for being this way” because 9/10 times it wasn’t intentional. I’m not out here to make anyone feel bad about themselves. Everyone has been on the other side of that and it feels really crappy. You don’t need everything you’ve ever done wrong thrown in your face. I remember times when I’d be getting dumped and he’d give me a list of the things I did wrong. I’d feel so horrible and want to take back any one of those things, then wonder if it would be different if I could change those past events. 
That being said...
If I were the person dating me and had to keep up with my sarcasm, hanger, solid jokes including “your mom” comebacks, hormonally driven sadness, and my impatience, I’d drive my car off a bridge. Seriously. Nobody wants to be a handful but this is me legitimately trying to be chill. I can’t help it that I have so many feelings! I’m also back on the trying to stop smoking for the 50th time in my life train and I’d like to blame some of my current animosity on that. I don’t even want to quit. Nobody actually wants to quit. Smoking is awesome. You should try it sometime. 
I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to communication within a relationship. I did live with an emotionally stunted narcissist for a couple of years, and prior to that dated a sober, rageaholic attorney with worse daddy issues than even I have. Use small words. Dumb it down. You think that sounds silly and you don’t want to speak to your significant other like they are a child, but it works. Let me know how anyone can come back and argue they “didn’t know” or you “didn’t say that” when you clearly state your feelings the way we tell kindergarteners to. If you can stay on the same page as your partner and maintain awareness of each other’s emotional perspectives, y’all will be just fine.
If you “don’t understand” how someone could feel a certain way in a situation, run. It’s called incompatibility. It’s why you don’t see a lot of Trump supporters married to liberals. You are different people and when they say opposites attract, that’s not what they meant. 
A few boring updates on my life. In a post-travel “quarantine” because Lori said so and also I’m waiting on the results of my THIRD Covid-19 test. Three separate occasions I got to have someone shove a skewer up my goddamn nose until my eyeballs bled. The most recent was the worst if that’s even possible. 
I’ve also mentally redesigned my bedroom so I can have a desk to work at and I’m really over not having an actual dresser because my clothes are everywhere. If anyone wants to donate to the cause, I’ve got an amazon cart just full of cute shit. I’ve already ordered the desk from Wayfair and this was before I found out that I might actually get a little girl instead of furniture. Also, I’m getting rid of the giant bookshelf, shoe rack, cubby thing-a-ma-bob I’ve had next to my bed in case anyone wants to haul that thing outta here. 
New school term started and I’m taking a class on databases. I’ve never had less fun in my 

entire life and that includes all three Coronavirus tests, a foot tattoo, and every visit ever to a gynecologist. This is only the second week and I feel genuinely suicidal over having to read about fucking databases or “information systems”. If you are considering getting a business degree, I highly suggest you try and put yourself in this position first. How many hours could you handle reading about e-commerce before your sanity would be at stake? It’s all about perspective, people. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

People Born in 2000 Can Drink Now

So it’s a new year, but you knew that. New year, same shit dude. Everyone thought last year was the worst but in all honesty, I made some awesome friends and traveled, loved every minute of “work” and didn’t get my heart broken once. You have to try a LOT harder to beat the dumpster fire that was Elizabeth 2019 after 5-15-19.  The irony? Just yesterday, January of 2021, someone else pulled an “I know you already have a flight to Tampa booked for THIS WEEK but I changed my mind so bye” which didn’t trigger me at all…I’m still going because I’ll be damned to miss out on a vacation that I’ve already packed for. You all know the effort it takes to make sure I travel with everything I could possibly need. I’m gonna kayak and adopt a manatee.  I’ll post another time about why we DO NOT date men under the age of 28 at a minimum. Especially when you know damn well what it is that you want and are more than capable of adulting while managing your time wisely.  Christmas and New ...
Read more

In Loving Memory of My Couch

  I got my first apartment when I was 19 years old. I had none of my own furniture at the time so I got an Ashley Furniture credit card (four years, zero interest) and hit up IKEA for the rest. This was the beginning of me having my own stuff. I’ve been called a hoarder for years and I might be… but I’ve worked damn hard for my money and if I choose to spend it on something, I value that item.  I am too stuck up to sleep on a used mattress or sit on someone’s used couch. I mean, seriously. Gross. I know what happens on my couch and mattress so I can only imagine what happens on someone else’s (...grow up). Those were both somewhat pricey investments. I can tell you that the $600 couch I got (that was black velvet material and oh so squishy) moved into that apartment, and then moved four additional times over seven years. It didn’t really look like it belonged in any of my apartments after the first, but I still loved and cared for it.  WHY am I talking to you about a couc...
Read more

Granola Donations Welcome

  It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything that I may have forgotten how. Nothing new here. Just remodeled my bedroom so I could have a desk because someone decided to eat bat poop so now I can’t sit and study at Starbucks. Also built me a dresser and hung things on the walls like pictures and artwork so it’s like I’m a real adult now (all furniture was purchased from Wayfair and nothing that arrived resembled a child so there you have it).  The traveling has been pretty heavy for the past month and I’m just thrilled to be home. I think I could go another forever without being on a Spirit Airlines flight that costs less than $20 and features screaming one-year-olds on their mother’s lap in the seat directly next to mine. If I haven’t mentioned this before, after a year the child is in fact large enough to go into overhead storage. My Airpods couldn’t even block out that fucking nonsense.  I’m also working on this being organized thing which is much easier wh...
Read more