Reciprocate

I know I don’t write anymore so here’s a summarized update and then I’ll begin a much-needed vent.


So I bought one of those new scales that tells you your BMI and body fat percentages and all that, and it’s fascinating. I’m on the thing four times a day trying to figure out if that glass of water I just drank registered (it tells you your water percentages too, whatever that means).


Do you know how you’ve gotta spend money to make money? Well, my weight loss journey was a sort of gain more weight to losing weight. I just love carbs too much. I was going to try being Keto, (I’ve heard it actually works) and got 36 hours into a Keto diet before becoming sicker than I’d ever felt in my life. No carbs or sugar? YEAH. OKAY. It’s called the “keto flu” and it makes the actual flu seem like Disneyworld. Wasn’t much longer after that I was shoving quesadillas and beer down my throat to revive myself. Since that didn’t fucking work I now intermittent fast which means don’t eat for most hours of the day. I manage to do this well since I just sleep during those periods. Day 2 and I feel pretty good. Clearly, it’s the fucking weekend.


I don’t really write or do anything these days because I’m pretty depressed and just not feeling it. Gaining almost thirty pounds will do that to you. I’m trying to stay focused on positive things about myself outside of what once was a seriously great butt. 


I made a list the other day of things I think people like about me and I’ve decided to share:

  • I rarely miss the opportunity for a good “your mom” joke.

  • I’m always down for a patio drink

  • I have good taste in strong-smelling candles

  • My raw athleticism

  • I can keep young children alive

  • My love for mountains, hiking, the outdoors

  • I’m fucking hilarious

  • I will never steal your beer

  • I always strongly encourage ice cream

  • I have access to basically every streaming service



And now, we rant.


So basically I’ve gotten to spend some of this weekend with my best friend Jon and he and I are both on this “fuck being single but also fuck everyone” train that is a lot more fun to ride together. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s just nice to have someone in your corner when you’re trying to do it all. A support system that you can have sex with sort of thing. The usual issue if not the main problem I have now is that my feelings are not reciprocated. 

If you follow my life at all, you’re wondering what happened to the tall red-head that I have been traveling with for the past few months. I wasn’t getting what I needed. I can find a million people to ignore me all day, why put a relationship status on it?


If you do not RECIPROCATE someone’s feelings, bail. If you do, then ACT LIKE IT. If you can’t take ten seconds to text someone back, stay single bro. Words are only one of the love languages and if it’s last on her list, go back to the drawing board. You’re an adult now. You need to know what the fuck a love language is and how it’s super relevant. 


Put yourself first, I’m not against it, but when you love someone you’re going to put what they want/need in front of yourself sometimes and that’s just life. If you can’t do that, don’t you dare claim to love someone. Why do I even have you if you aren’t there for me when I need you the most? Really? Why? Exactly. 

My name is Elizabeth and I’m here today to teach you a VERY important lesson so listen up.


YOUR WORDS DON’T MEAN ANYTHING. 

And for all of you guys who pay for everything and think that means you deserve what you’ve got... call me. I’m super into that. As long as you don’t pay for stuff and then complain about it. Money can’t buy my love but I’m broke right now and I need a sugar daddy ASAP. Even just someone to supply groceries. Thanks.

I digress...

Actions speak louder and blah blah so do something nice, show her you care, go out of your way for once. If you’re a woman reading this and it’s resonating it’s because all men are relatively the same therefore they share these qualities. The ones who don’t, well, they’re either married or hiding a severe mental disorder from you. 

People often wonder how I am capable of sleeping so much. I’ll tell you what, it’s fucking exhausting to be in a one-sided relationship as the person who actually makes an effort. Since I jumped ship I already feel so much better. 



Wanna hear a joke? 

Maybe he’ll change.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

People Born in 2000 Can Drink Now

So it’s a new year, but you knew that. New year, same shit dude. Everyone thought last year was the worst but in all honesty, I made some awesome friends and traveled, loved every minute of “work” and didn’t get my heart broken once. You have to try a LOT harder to beat the dumpster fire that was Elizabeth 2019 after 5-15-19.  The irony? Just yesterday, January of 2021, someone else pulled an “I know you already have a flight to Tampa booked for THIS WEEK but I changed my mind so bye” which didn’t trigger me at all…I’m still going because I’ll be damned to miss out on a vacation that I’ve already packed for. You all know the effort it takes to make sure I travel with everything I could possibly need. I’m gonna kayak and adopt a manatee.  I’ll post another time about why we DO NOT date men under the age of 28 at a minimum. Especially when you know damn well what it is that you want and are more than capable of adulting while managing your time wisely.  Christmas and New ...
Read more

In Loving Memory of My Couch

  I got my first apartment when I was 19 years old. I had none of my own furniture at the time so I got an Ashley Furniture credit card (four years, zero interest) and hit up IKEA for the rest. This was the beginning of me having my own stuff. I’ve been called a hoarder for years and I might be… but I’ve worked damn hard for my money and if I choose to spend it on something, I value that item.  I am too stuck up to sleep on a used mattress or sit on someone’s used couch. I mean, seriously. Gross. I know what happens on my couch and mattress so I can only imagine what happens on someone else’s (...grow up). Those were both somewhat pricey investments. I can tell you that the $600 couch I got (that was black velvet material and oh so squishy) moved into that apartment, and then moved four additional times over seven years. It didn’t really look like it belonged in any of my apartments after the first, but I still loved and cared for it.  WHY am I talking to you about a couc...
Read more

Granola Donations Welcome

  It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything that I may have forgotten how. Nothing new here. Just remodeled my bedroom so I could have a desk because someone decided to eat bat poop so now I can’t sit and study at Starbucks. Also built me a dresser and hung things on the walls like pictures and artwork so it’s like I’m a real adult now (all furniture was purchased from Wayfair and nothing that arrived resembled a child so there you have it).  The traveling has been pretty heavy for the past month and I’m just thrilled to be home. I think I could go another forever without being on a Spirit Airlines flight that costs less than $20 and features screaming one-year-olds on their mother’s lap in the seat directly next to mine. If I haven’t mentioned this before, after a year the child is in fact large enough to go into overhead storage. My Airpods couldn’t even block out that fucking nonsense.  I’m also working on this being organized thing which is much easier wh...
Read more