I Come Off Better In Writing

Remember as you read these posts that I am working toward being published one day in a book about “how they lived” during these months of quarantine. Maybe my blogs will be in a more specific book about how the struggling Millenials handled this time. Regardless, the details may seem mundane now but they are necessary for the education of this earth’s future.  Today I ate a banana and then I had a cranberry orange muffin then I had some scrambled eggs and I had a coffee with breakfast and also some collagen water. It was strawberry flavored.  Kidding.  The truth is I’m running out of things to say. I don’t even bother spending all day on the phone with people because there is no new information . If you are one of the more valuable occupants of this planet and understand a good “Friends” reference, I read that in Pheobe’s voice from The One Where Everybody Finds Out . She technically says “brand new information”, but tomato tomato.  I guess there is this...

  After about two weeks here together (Me and Andrew and Andrew), the typical issues have come up over kitchen cleanliness and not playing our guitar while Elizabeth naps. We get along nicely and I have not only one but two people to project my need for nagging onto. Game nights are an absolute blast and usually have me in tears because someone stole my only sheep- who I proudly named Keith and was planning to use to build a settlement. Or just keep on as a full-time pet. I also won 4/4 games of UNO the other night and by the last game, the duo attempted to team up against me in order to prevent another victory. I feel like the boys never care who wins a game, as long as it isn’t me. Rude.    Quarantine has been better than I expected so far but there are times where I’m alone with my sleeve of Oreos wondering if this will be my reality until the end of my life.   I’d like to add that SOMEONE, I won’t specify who (but his name rhymes with “Mandrew”) insisted on bu...

Okay I know there is like a terrifying amount of content coming at you now that everyone and their mother is home posting videos and workouts and recipes and I saw some people singing stuff. Don’t feel obligated to read this all at once. I do think that I am working towards an “Anne Frank” status (with some seriously obvious differences) in my documentation of this time in history. It’s just one person’s perspective of their “life at home” during this global crisis. Annie (does anyone ever call her that or no?) was clearly in a much more dire sitch and didn’t have any of the luxuries that I currently have.  Luckily we moved prior to all of this and I now live with additional humans. The Andrews. I cannot imagine being home alone during this time. Seriously. We are working together to make this place a pretty nice home for ourselves and have spent countless hours at Target getting household items and groceries. According to my Asian Andrew, Target is where white people shop. He ...

Current favorite meme: “What a fucking year this week has been” I was only six, but I remember where I was during 9/11. I had pink eye and was sent home from school and I got real sassy when my mom wouldn’t let me turn cartoons on the tv when we got home (which was a given on a sick day). She insisted on watching midday news for the first time in her life. Do you realize that kids graduating high school now weren’t even alive on 9/11/01? But they’re alive for this. Easily the weirdest time for any of us in this lifetime. I was with my 9-month-old the other day like “omg you are alive during COVID-19 and you won’t even remember it...Woah”. We can overthink this or choose not to think about it at all, but in my eyes, this changes a lot of things for a long time. Joke all you want about a baby boom in nine months but that will be the generation that was conceived during a crisis only to perish from the effects of global warming. Call them Gen- set up for failure? That was dark. S...

It’s been a hot second and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover here so stick with me people.  Wisdom teeth are 86 in this mouth, besides that one. I do stand by wanting general anesthesia to be available to the public OTC. Opioid epidemic = solved. That shit was so good, even though it was quite short-lived. Apparently, not everyone suffers severe pain as I did for 9 days after the surgery, but that does explain why I’ve gotten NOTHING done all week and have 37 empty bottles of extra-strength Tylenol lying around. (that’s bad for you..you can’t take that much...blah blah blah..). Well, liver failure sounds like a vacation right now compared to my life.  I’m still not comfortably on solids but when I am, I’m gonna eat a GOD DERN biscuit and then several bagel sandwiches and an entire pizza. If you seriously couldn’t tell, I’ve watched “Sweet & Salty” on Netflix multiple times now. SUP MARK is not an appropriate way to approach potential suitors. Not a day goes by t...